365 Days of Writing Day 2: Strength

In what way are you strong?

strong

strôNG/

adjective

1. 1.

   having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.

   "she cut through the water with her strong arms"
2. 2.

   able to withstand great force or pressure.

   "cotton is strong, hard-wearing, and easy to handle

   
   

I didn't always think I was strong.

It wasn't really until I had to go through one of the most emotionally trying times of my life that I learned the contrary.

When I was 23, my eldest brother passed away from testicular cancer. They told us it was "curable". We'd read hosts of information that supported this. Yet, he relapsed from remission after a year and a half... and lost his battle at the tender age of 33 years.

We screamed it wasn't fair. We cried. We begged the doctors to tell us it wasn't true. But nothing could bring him back. One of the most beautiful people I had ever met in my life was gone forever.

In that time, there were plenty of emotions. There were plenty of times I wanted to just scream at everything and everyone I came across. Instead, I buried myself in distraction. When it came time for his funeral, I wanted to read something he had written. I was told by nearly everyone that I wouldn't be able to do it. I told them "watch me." (Yes, I had a back up plan, but I was more than determined to get through that damned writing.)

I read the poem. It broke my heart reading through those words while standing before his casket. But I did it. I said my final farewell... and realized that I had tapped into a strength I had never previously realized I possessed.

It was that moment that I realized strength is deep within the depths of each of us. We just don't really know how to tap into it. It sucks that it took losing such a great influence in my life to make me realize this. 

But it is what it is.

Sometimes, you just have to stop, breathe, and dig deep within. It all works out in the end.