365 Days of Writing Day 8: E-books or paper?

Do you prefer to read electronic or paper books? Why?

I have an e-book. I used it quite often.

However, when it comes down to it, I still really prefer reading an actual paper book. There is just something about holding a copy of your favorite book and flipping through the pages.

The benefit of an e-book is, if it is windy, you don't have to worry about the wind ruffling the pages.

But the paper book is just so traditional. So comfortable.

Reflections Week 1

List the ways you can cleanse your life for spring:

Purge - purge - purge : get rid of things that are weighing you down, cluttering your spaces, and causing anxiety.

Personal development : take time for me. Time to reflect, time to do things to enrich and grow and become a better version of myself.

Tell that negative self talk to hit the curb : it does nothing but undermine your success anyway.

Get back on the bandwagon with exercise : that body you want to have isn't going to come back without a little hard work and dedication. As a matter of fact; it might help you see results a little more quickly.

Listen to music more often : fun or spiritual, it doesn't really matter. Music really centers me and puts me into a great mood.

Play with the kids : they love it when they get to spend time with you - enjoy them, they won't be small forever.

Follow directions : sometimes, it is so easy to fall back into old habits. Remember what you are working toward and follow the paved road to get there. Be strict with yourself, you will be thankful for that later.

Stop and smell the "roses" : take the time to step back and appreciate the little things once in a while.

Get back into photography : you love it, what are you waiting for?

List everything you feel passionate about: 

Family                                            Friends                                          My boys

Photography                                   Music                                            Crafts

Health                                             Personal Development                  Happiness

Helping                                           Playing                                          Being present

Being amazing like my mom          Writing                                         Cooking

Being a great employee                   Listening                                      Supporting

365 Days of Writing Day 7: Risk Taking

Do you prefer taking risks or having a safety net?

Anyone who knows me well knows the answer to this one... I am definitely NOT a risk taker. I don't like to step outside my comfort zone. Not even a little bit.

Now, that doesn't mean I won't. It just means it's not something I actively do on my own.

There are so many things I would love to do... but the risk seems greater than the reward, so I hesitate. Most of the time to the point of curling up into my comfy cocoon and ignoring the idea altogether.

Maybe one day that will change. But for the moment, I am hesitant to branch out.

There are benefits to risk taking. The reward could be lucrative... but it is very difficult for me to willingly leave a sure thing to go out on a limb.

365 Days of Writing Day 6: Role Play

role

rōl/

noun

the function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation.

Think of the various roles you play in your life; if you had to give up all but one, which would you keep?

I'm a jack of all trades. Mom, career woman, photographer, decorator, chauffeur, chef... you name it, I do it. :) But, if I had to leave it all behind... give every single thing up except one... I'd keep being a mom.

You see, there is something particularly special about those two little sweeties coming to me and saying "mama, I love you." It has the power to brighten even the darkest of days. When they say they love you... you know they mean it. They really, honestly, love you.

They are so amazing. It is an honor and privilege to be their mom. They give me such pride. I love and loathe watching them grow at the same time.

They are my it. They are my reason. I love them to infinity and beyond.

365 Days of Writing Day 5: Success

 suc·cess·ful

səkˈsesfəl/

adjective

1. accomplishing an aim or purpose.
2.      having achieved popularity, profit, or distinction.

Why do you think some people are successful in life and others are not?

I think everyone is successful at something. Whether that be a successful career oriented person... or a successful thief. We all have our talents.

For me, being successful is being able to pay bills and still provide our sons with the things they need as well as fun things that we like to do as a family. It is a struggle every. single. day to have to go to work and leave them. I sometimes envy those that I know who are able to stay at home and make it work. But that is not me. I have to get out and interact with people in some fashion.

However, there is a huge issue with the system in this country. Healthcare for those with mental health issues. Medical care for those with medical issues that can't afford insurance. Care and assistance for those who cannot work due to health issues. Care and assistance for those victims of abuse. We can never hope to turn our country around until we take a step back and beef up some of these programs while limiting those that are abused by people who are out to make a quick buck by cheating the system.

365 Days of Writing Day 4: Do Overs

If you had a "do over" button, what one event in your life would you like to have a second chance at?

Do over.

It is a concept many of us think about daily. "What if", "if I had a chance", "I wonder..."

I am not immune to thinking this. There are plenty of times in life I wish I could revisit. Selecting just one is nearly impossible. For me, it would be surrounding my oldest brother.

My brother was diagnosed with testicular cancer when I was in my early 20s. We were told it was curable. We were told he would survive. But God clearly had other plans.

You see, after going through Chemo, my brother went into remission. We were so happy. Over the moon happy, as a matter of fact. We had more time to spend with such an amazing and compassionate individual. He had plans to change the world. I'm pretty sure he would have accomplished just that, given a lifetime.

However, his lifetime was not meant to extend to the length of many others. His cancer returned and, after a valiant battle; he went home to God in February of 1999. But, not without leaving a legacy most of us can only dream of leaving. His impact continues to extend to the lives of the many people he saved from the grips of various addictions and depression.

Few days go by that I don't wish I could sit and have coffee with him again.

365 Days of Writing Day 3: Themes

If this week had a theme to it, what would yours be?

I believe it would be rush week. No, not in the idea of rush week for a fraternity or sorority... you outgrow that when you graduate college. More in terms of so many things to do and so little time to accomplish them..

We are in the process of putting everything back where it should be after getting new carpeting in our basement. As a part of that; I have decided we need to purge old toys that our boys have outgrown and clean up their wardrobe so that we have only the items that fit them going forward for the summer.

Let me tell you, this is a daunting task. The furniture and things are back in their places, now begins the task of going through the items that we don't want to move back until we are certain we have nothing that is not being used in the mix. Old, outgrown, broken, forgotten. Whatever the case may be... they are going to be gone through and we are going to only move back the things that we really honestly need.

This has spurred into other areas of the house. We went through the toys upstairs and purged broken toys and toys that the boys no longer use. Next we go through bedrooms and purge old clothes and items we no longer need.

Lord willing, this and that quilt I have in the finishing stages will be finished soon.

365 Days of Writing Day 2: Strength

In what way are you strong?

strong

strôNG/

adjective

1. 1.

   having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.

   "she cut through the water with her strong arms"
2. 2.

   able to withstand great force or pressure.

   "cotton is strong, hard-wearing, and easy to handle

   
   

I didn't always think I was strong.

It wasn't really until I had to go through one of the most emotionally trying times of my life that I learned the contrary.

When I was 23, my eldest brother passed away from testicular cancer. They told us it was "curable". We'd read hosts of information that supported this. Yet, he relapsed from remission after a year and a half... and lost his battle at the tender age of 33 years.

We screamed it wasn't fair. We cried. We begged the doctors to tell us it wasn't true. But nothing could bring him back. One of the most beautiful people I had ever met in my life was gone forever.

In that time, there were plenty of emotions. There were plenty of times I wanted to just scream at everything and everyone I came across. Instead, I buried myself in distraction. When it came time for his funeral, I wanted to read something he had written. I was told by nearly everyone that I wouldn't be able to do it. I told them "watch me." (Yes, I had a back up plan, but I was more than determined to get through that damned writing.)

I read the poem. It broke my heart reading through those words while standing before his casket. But I did it. I said my final farewell... and realized that I had tapped into a strength I had never previously realized I possessed.

It was that moment that I realized strength is deep within the depths of each of us. We just don't really know how to tap into it. It sucks that it took losing such a great influence in my life to make me realize this. 

But it is what it is.

Sometimes, you just have to stop, breathe, and dig deep within. It all works out in the end.

365 Days of Writing Day 1: They Call Me Mama

Write about something presently in your life that is "worth it".

The dictionary defines worth it as such:

worth it

phrase of worth

1. 1.

   informal

   sufficiently good, enjoyable, or successful to repay any effort, trouble, or expense.

I am truly blessed in every sense of the word. I have a great job with amazing coworkers. I have a supportive and truly loving family. I have a beautiful home filled with love. I have dependable transportation. I have food to feed my family.

I have always been blessed.

But there are two things in my life that are worth everything to me. They are worth every emotion, every inconvenience, every late night. They are worth the pain required to bring them here. They call me mama.

Once upon a time, we were not sure if we would be blessed with children. It was through loads of appointments, rounds of shots, the support of family and friends, numerous ultrasounds, and the kindness and support of a few amazing doctors that we found luck in bringing two beautiful little boys into this world.

These two little angels test the boundaries of my tolerance and understanding. They bring a new perception to most things I thought I had perfected. They teach me just how much love the human heart is capable of.

They love me, despite the faults I have. They are patient with me through my learning. They know exactly how much I need them and are not afraid to let me know they need me as well.

They give me light in darkness. Hope in hoplessness... and they show me just how much the Lord trusts me.

I am forever grateful that the Lord chose me to be their mama. I pray nightly that He help me raise them and allows me to see them grow into men bearing His likeness.

They are my life. They are my heart. They are my very soul.